Frustration, humility, writing, listening

I'm a writer.

For weeks I have had trouble writing. The issue is not inspiration or mind-block but time. I don't remember a more demanding work schedule in years.

Contemplative spaces and times have been scarce; so too any chance for thoughtful blogging and for conversation with the blogging community to which I belong.

I realize, too, at this beginning of Advent, that I am frustrated about the lack of writing (on blog and off) for reasons of ego almost as much as for reasons of "gotta write because a bird's gotta sing." I can't help thinking, upon reading praise from my sister and brother bloggers for other sister and brother bloggers (particularly in our little online Anglican-and-other-merry-mad-ones community), "Wait a minute! I write about spirituality! I'm a good preacher! I'm the one with a book on prayer! I can write nice inspirational blog posts too!" Which is a really Bad Attitude.

So it is doubly, perhaps triply fitting, that this Advent I learn a little humility and rejoice in the great gifts of others. I won't have much to contribute to the Advent journey (though I will write a little in my upcoming travels on other matters) but I will be on journey with all those of you who celebrate this season, which is my favorite liturgical time. And I commend to you the thoughtful and inspiring of our colleagues, including Mimi, Shannon (my friend the prison chaplain, who posts only every so often, but when she does, ah!) Paul, and Mickey. But not limited to them.

Listen. Listen with me. Listen for Godde. Watch and wait. Stay close to the earth, humus, adam, where the Holy One chooses to dwell.

Welcome Jesus. Welcome the quiet Spirit, who is also God our Disturber.*

* From a collect by Janet Morley, in All Desires Known:

O God our disturber,
whose speech is pregnant with power
and whose word will be fulfilled;
may we known ourselves unsatisfied
with all that distorts your truth,
and make our hearts attentive
to your liberating voice,
in Jesus Christ. Amen.